Christmas Sermon

This Christmas Eve night was cold. Bitterly cold. An old cowboy was hunkered down in his line cabin on the far back side of the Lightning Ranch in West Texas. The snow had started just a little after lunch and had not let up since forming a white blanket as far as the eye could see. There was a good fire going in the old stove and the little single room cabin was gonna make it through another winter just fine. He was satisfied.

Just before dark there was a knock at the door that startled him. He seldom got visitors so his heart skipped a beat as he opened the door while his mind raced wondering who, or what, it was that would be out at this time of evening, especially in this weather.

As the door slowly opened and the dim light of the cabin flooded the person standing there, he immediately recognized the Preacher. "Evenin', would it be possible for me to warm up a bit before trying to make it to town? It's plenty cold and I'd be very grateful," asked the Preacher.

"By all means Preacher, please come in. Don't just warm up, heck spend the night and go on to town in the mornin'." Offered the cowboy as the Preacher stepped in the cabin shaking off the chill. After a few minutes of pleasantries and idle conversation a quiet fell over the little cabin with nothing but the sound of crackling fire from the stove. A few minutes passed and the Preacher made a proposition.

"Since it is Christmas Eve and we seem to have run out of things to talk about, I was wondering if it would be ok if I gave my Christmas Morning sermon? I have it all worked out and it would do me some good to practice it one more time plus I bet you are working tomorrow morning and won't have to hear it twice..."

"Of course Preacher, I think that's a great idea. I have no doubt it would do me some good to listen." Said the cowboy. With that the Preacher started in.

At about the 45 minute mark he was really rollin'.

After about an hour, he had really hit his stride and was startin' to bring it home.

The cowboy sat and listened intently, never moving. When all the fire a brimstone had been laid down, the Preacher tapered off and finished then slowly closed his Bible and silence once again filled the little cabin for a few minutes. Neither man said a word. After a few more minutes of silence the Preacher turned to the cowboy and asked him what he thought of his Christmas Sermon.

Never one to not tell it like it is, the Cowboy answered.

"Well Preacher, it was really good. There were several parts I really liked and you touched on some things I didn't know so I guess I learned something too...", the cowboy paused hoping to find the right words.

"Well, what did you not like about it son?" quizzed the Preacher.

"Well Preacher, I'll tell you like this. When I call up these cows and go to feed them a sack of feed, if just one cow shows up......I don't pour out the whole sack!"

Merry Belated Christmas,

Walker

(I had the chance to visit the Lightning Ranch, Central Texas Division, this week and I got this story there. I can't take credit for something that ain't mine. The cowboy in this story, or the Preacher, wouldn't approve of that. Thanks guys.)

It's Been Hot

It was early.



It always was. This time it was really early.



Cap's eyes opened wide as the still, dark world around him had yet to begin it's day. He rolled slowly from bed, so as not to wake Martha, and made his way to the dresser. He quickly pulled his britches on, slipped into his shirt, pulled his boots on at the door while at the same time grabbing his hat from the hat rack and eased out the door. He had been thinking about this moment for a couple of days, and now it was time.



His truck slowly pulled up next to the chicken coop on the ranch and as his headlights washed over the wire of the chicken pen, they came to rest on the door of the coop so he could see his way. He entered the chicken coop with a basket he had retrieved from the rear of the truck and went about his work gathering every egg he could find. He could hardly wait.



Daylight came to find Cap already up and at'em. He was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee, waiting to start the day. He would get to soon enough. Martha walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. She quietly wondered to herself what that pot was doing in the sink, but said nothing. Cap sat a minute longer, smiled to himself, then got up and left.



Later that morning Cap was down at the horse barn when Ely came driving up. Ely was a little late this morning as he had been here recently. A couple times a week, he had made it a habit to gather the eggs from the chicken coop and take them to the men working on the drilling rig that had been running on the ranch. Ely had been by there several times and had kind of made a new buddy with the Drilling Superintendent. Most of the time not all of the eggs were eaten by the ranch hands, so there was always some left. Ely had been taking them by to the drilling guys and they sure did like them.



About that time Ely's cell phone rang in his shirt pocket. He answered it,"Hey Mike!" Mike was the Drilling Super who was Ely's new friend, "Uh, huh....uh, huh. I see...Well I don't know what to say about that...I have to say I've never even heard of that....beats the heck outta me....ok...see you later."



Ely was vexed and it was clear he was trying to wrap his mind around the news. Cap decided to help.



"What was that all about?", asked Cap.



"Well, you know I've been taking eggs to those guys and this morning I took them another batch. They just called and said that when they tried to crack'em open, they were all hard boiled!"



"Well, how in the world did that happen?" said Cap turning away to hide his excitement.



"Heck I don't know...I didn't do anything different than normal. I went to the chicken coop this morning and took'em some straight from there...how do you think that could happen?" wondered Ely truely bewildered.



Cap paused for effect, "...well Ely...Heck, it's been hot outside..." Cap could barely contain himself, but figured he'd let Ely stew a few days before telling him...some practical jokes are all about timing.





Stay Cool,

Walker

You Catch More Flies with BBQ

Cap had an uneasy feeling. The same feeling you get when you know that you lost something of value, but have no idea where you lost it. He struggled with the cobwebs in his mind to remember what he had done with it. It was one of his most prized possessions. It was one of his favorites....he had lost his pocket knife.

Ely was not much help. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Cap use it. He was trying to help as much as possible.

"Did you have it Friday?" Ely said.

"Nope. When I got home Friday evening and emptied my pockets it wasn't in there."

"What about Friday morning?"

"You know, I did have it Friday morning because I remember putting it in my pocket....wait a minute. I used it to cut my lunch up on Friday and must have left it there. I'm gonna call Cecil."

The phone rang at Cecil's BBQ Cafe. Cecil answered the phone to hear Cap's voice.

"Cecil, this is Cap out here at the ranch...Say, I was in there Friday eating lunch and I ordered a plate of that ole tough Bar-B-Que you sell...I had to take my pocket knife out to cut it up so I could chew it and I think I left my knife on the table."

"You must have the wrong number. We don't sell tough Bar-B-Que in here.", was Cecil's reply.

Cap laughed. "You know this is me Cecil, I was in your wedding."

"Wait a minute." came Cecil's reply as he fumbled around on his end of the phone.

"You mean the knife with the yellow handle...and the blade that looks like it just broke?" asked Cecil.

"Now Cecil, you know that blade ain't broke...at least it better not be!"

"It might be broke if you call up here talking about tough Bar-B-Que again!" laughed Cecil.

"I'll be in there tomorrow to pick it up. I appreciate it though...that knife is one of my favorites." said Cap.

"Be sure to come around lunch," said Cecil, "we'll have some ole tough Bar-B-Que for you."

No Lantern is Water Proof

Cap, Ely and Pete had decided that after a good Church Service, lunch and an afternoon of napping, only one other thing could polish off this almost perfect day. Tank fishing. After deciding what time to leave so they could meet down at the tank and all three of them each rummaging around to find their old beat up tackle boxes, their near perfect Sunday was coming to a completion.

Each one of them had taken their turns catching some nice bass and then throwing them back. Everyone was in a good mood and no one wanted to leave even though it was starting to get pretty dark. That's when Cap had an idea.

"Heck boys, we can keep fishing as long as we want to. I've got one of them old-time kerosene lanterns in the tool box. I'll fire that dude up and we'll just stay after it for a little longer."Cap offered.

Everyone agreed that was a great idea. Cap left his fishing pole and walked down the little wooden dock to the truck so he could get the lantern and was back in just a minute. He checked to make sure the lantern had fuel, which it did, and began pumping the primer so it would light. After several attempts, he had not had any luck.

Cap continued attempting to prime the lantern and light it. Everytime he patiently tried again, the lantern refused to work. After about the fourth attempt Cap began cussing the lantern under his breath while he continued to work on it.

The more he struggled the madder he got. Of course this just amused Ely and Pete.

"Cap, all you have to do in order to light a lantern...is be smarter than the lantern," said Ely as Pete fought back the urge to laugh out loud.

Cap continued to pump the primer and light the lantern and now he was not only cussing the lantern, he was roughing it up a bit too. He finally lost it.

"I can't imagine the folks at Coleman putting out a product that ain't no better than this. They've been in business forever not to mention put lots of my money in their bank and now I can't even get a lit lantern outta them no good..." Cap let loose another cussing fit under his breath.

"Cap, I cain't believe you're talking this way in front of Pete's young ears...and the same day we got out of church on top of that."

"Ely, Pete is 47 years old, if he cain't listen to a man cuss a lantern he needs to throw his pole down right now and leave for home." said Cap, now almost shouting.

"Cap I'm right here, so don't talk about me like I'm not...and on top of that I think you're scaring the fish," ribbed Pete. Pete and Ely quickly exchanged glances. They knew they had Cap on the brink.

"I'll scare them fish and show the folks at Coleman a thing or two." Cap said through clenched teeth as he stood up on the little wooden dock. He took the wire handle of the lantern and just like a Champion Discus thrower in a track meet, spun his body around once and flung the lantern out into the middle of the tank.

Pete and Ely immediately erupted in laughter. Pete dropped his pole on the dock and bent over laughing while Ely took his hat off and whipped it on his leg. They both danced around laughing for a couple minutes while Cap just fumed. Once he realized what he had just done though, Cap slowly started smiling and then eventually he was laughing harder than either of the other guys.

Pete and Ely noticed and started to wonder what was so funny. They stopped laughing and Cap laughed harder. Now they were worried. Had they finally sent him over the edge? Was he now destined for the "Nervous Hospital"...all over a lantern?

"Cap, what in the world could be so funny?" asked Ely...and then it hit him before Cap could say it...

"Ely....that was YOUR lantern!"


Hope everyone is having a good Summer,
Walker

Enough Love for Everyone

The piled high papers shuffled,
the desk a total mess,
she'd been sitting there since 5 a.m.,
trying to do her best.

The last year had been rougher,
than any had before,
the bills, they kept on piling up,
but the money didn't anymore.

Last year's drought had hurt,
it was a struggle everyday,
and she woke up today with morning sickness,
wondering if she could find a way.

He knew she had been stressing,
and awake before the birds.
He set her a cup of coffee down,
and hoped for wise, strong, words.

He told her not to worry,
they'd made it times before.
The Good Lord had always made sure,
and He'd do it one time more.

He makes sure the birds,
have more than enough to get by,
and if He could take care of them,
He'll help us if we just try.

"I'll get a second job," he said.
"Ole Jake will help me out,
and with some determination, and sweat,
we'll claw our way back out."

"I'd bet somewhere in history,
you could find another time,
when some great couple was faced with a jam,
not nearly bad as yours and mine.

Our families had it rougher than us,
when they were starting out,
where would we be if they turned tail,
and took the easy route?"


She found some consolation,
and wisdom in his words,
then again she always did, she guessed,
especially the part about the birds.

He found one more thing he wanted to say,
as he turned to leave the room.
One more thought crossed his mind,
to help her battle off the gloom.

"We may be short on clothes or food,
dollars, we may only have one.
But one thing we can say for sure,
there's enough love in this little house for everyone."

Is That What I Think It Is?

Cap and Ely eased up to the gate. It barely hung on the hinges of a rotten post and was held closed by the thinnest of baling wire. It looked like some part of their operation, although it wasn't. This was a neighbor's place and they had a young bull who had somehow managed to get through the mediocre fence. Cap had offered several times to rebuild some of the fence or even split the costs on a new one with the neighbor. You know what they say... and it's true. Neighbors are as good as their fences.



When the report of the trespassing bull came in though, they had to go get him no matter the condition of the fence. Cap and Ely had loaded a couple younger horses in the trailer and headed out. "Ranch Law" states that if something should go smoothly, take only a few minutes and can be done on colts...it will never go smoothly, take longer than you thought, and make you push a colt to the limit.



As they eased through the gate into the neighbor's pasture they were forced to navigate the rusted iron junk piles of what used to be equipment, most of it hidden in tall grass, and pick a place to unload. They chose a spot not far from the neighbor's house since they were gone and awkwardly backed the young horses out of the trailer. After some initial "let's move'em around and make sure they won't buck us off if we ask them to lope" time, they were ready to make a plan. Ely was getting a chew of tobacco as Cap informed him of the plan.

"If you just ease around that side of the house and get that bull started heading toward the corner down there I'll keep him headed straight that direction and make sure he goes to that gate. Once we get him there, I'll open the gate and we'll ease him through. Then we can look for the hole in the fence."

Sounded easy enough. As Ely rode around the other side of the uninhabited house, making sure to pick his way around and through the camouflaged junk iron, he started to notice something you just don't see everyday. A chain link pen. Now, lots of people have chain link pens to keep dogs in and some people even have fancy chain link chicken pens...for whatever reason. This pen was different though and it wasn't until Ely got a little closer that he actually found out why. As he rode a little closer to the pen he noticed a shelter inside of it and out of that shelter walked...a lion.

Ely had seen lions before. His earliest remembrance of them was a school field trip to the Zoo and most recently he had seen just a glimpse of a mountain lion out in Marathon helping some friends pen some cattle. He didn't like them then...and the colt he was riding sure didn't like them now. This was no mountain lion though...this was an African Lion with full mane and all. He stopped breathing, riding and spitting tobacco.

As Cap rounded the other side of the house, he wondered where Ely was. Could he take any longer to do something? He had to be the slowest human alive. As Cap came into Ely's view not only did he see Ely...he also saw the Lion. Cap's colt reacted about the same way... and he couldn't tell if Ely was green from fear or from not spitting that tobacco juice out, but he could tell Ely was not well. They both finally got control of the horses they were riding and moved past the pen to move the bull. Neither one of them ever took their eye off of the pen...and the tenant of the pen kept a pretty sharp eye on them as well.

If you have ever seen two guys move a bull from one pasture to another....you have never seen it done that fast. You have also never seen anyone drive like that out of someone's place without stealing something...

Once they hit the blacktop, Cap and Ely confirmed that they had both seen the same thing. They had. One full grown African Lion complete with mane, caged up right there next to one of their places. They rode home in stunned silence...and wondered if their guns where loaded.


this is a true story from a couple of the Lightning Ranch (Central Texas Division) hands and only the names have been changed to protect the innocent...thanks guys...

A Draining Day

Today I went to the funeral of Sam Kelley. Sam was 66 when he passed away from cancer. He was a horseshoer....and an good one. He was old school. "Shoe'em like they stand and they won't limp."

Sam was not an old guy, and although I haven't seen him in quite a few years, I went with my Dad to pay my respects. It's just what you do in the western community I like to think I live in.

Sam had been sick for quite a while. He had gone to M.D. Anderson and let them do what they do in the effort of making someone well. I know they have a pretty good success rate...but not so with Sam. After many, many treatments he had decided he had enough...as one of his son-in-laws told my Dad today, he was going on the "Sam plan". He wanted to go home.

Before he left the hospital he told his family that when he got home, he wanted to put on a clean shirt and set up the video camera. He wanted to give his own Eulogy...no one else knew what he wanted said better than he did and he wanted to say it. Wow.

At the service today the video was played and it was very touching as you would imagine. Sam cried and told the story of how he had made it to the point he was in his life. He loved his friends and since he was running out of time, he wanted them to know how much. The only way he could relay his message to all was the tape.

Sam also spoke of salvation and how lots of people might die tomorrow....and not know the Lord. Sam was emotional throughout the whole tape and it was beautiful. What a great idea.

On the way home I thought about the whole tape and the emotions that you feel when faced with something like that. Sam was crying while he spoke on tape....but not crying because he was scared to die....he was crying because he loved his family and friends. Wow again.

When faced with his own mortality what did he do? He wanted to send a message to all who knew him and it was important to him that he do so. So important he had to try it several times in order to get through it....what a man.

I was just a little kid when I was around Sam Kelley for the most part. But today I witnessed (again) what it takes to be a good christian man. Faith, Love for family and friends, and the ability to do what most people cannot... when faced with their imminent demise....

I know Sam is where he always wanted to be....


Walker