No Lantern is Water Proof

Cap, Ely and Pete had decided that after a good Church Service, lunch and an afternoon of napping, only one other thing could polish off this almost perfect day. Tank fishing. After deciding what time to leave so they could meet down at the tank and all three of them each rummaging around to find their old beat up tackle boxes, their near perfect Sunday was coming to a completion.

Each one of them had taken their turns catching some nice bass and then throwing them back. Everyone was in a good mood and no one wanted to leave even though it was starting to get pretty dark. That's when Cap had an idea.

"Heck boys, we can keep fishing as long as we want to. I've got one of them old-time kerosene lanterns in the tool box. I'll fire that dude up and we'll just stay after it for a little longer."Cap offered.

Everyone agreed that was a great idea. Cap left his fishing pole and walked down the little wooden dock to the truck so he could get the lantern and was back in just a minute. He checked to make sure the lantern had fuel, which it did, and began pumping the primer so it would light. After several attempts, he had not had any luck.

Cap continued attempting to prime the lantern and light it. Everytime he patiently tried again, the lantern refused to work. After about the fourth attempt Cap began cussing the lantern under his breath while he continued to work on it.

The more he struggled the madder he got. Of course this just amused Ely and Pete.

"Cap, all you have to do in order to light a lantern...is be smarter than the lantern," said Ely as Pete fought back the urge to laugh out loud.

Cap continued to pump the primer and light the lantern and now he was not only cussing the lantern, he was roughing it up a bit too. He finally lost it.

"I can't imagine the folks at Coleman putting out a product that ain't no better than this. They've been in business forever not to mention put lots of my money in their bank and now I can't even get a lit lantern outta them no good..." Cap let loose another cussing fit under his breath.

"Cap, I cain't believe you're talking this way in front of Pete's young ears...and the same day we got out of church on top of that."

"Ely, Pete is 47 years old, if he cain't listen to a man cuss a lantern he needs to throw his pole down right now and leave for home." said Cap, now almost shouting.

"Cap I'm right here, so don't talk about me like I'm not...and on top of that I think you're scaring the fish," ribbed Pete. Pete and Ely quickly exchanged glances. They knew they had Cap on the brink.

"I'll scare them fish and show the folks at Coleman a thing or two." Cap said through clenched teeth as he stood up on the little wooden dock. He took the wire handle of the lantern and just like a Champion Discus thrower in a track meet, spun his body around once and flung the lantern out into the middle of the tank.

Pete and Ely immediately erupted in laughter. Pete dropped his pole on the dock and bent over laughing while Ely took his hat off and whipped it on his leg. They both danced around laughing for a couple minutes while Cap just fumed. Once he realized what he had just done though, Cap slowly started smiling and then eventually he was laughing harder than either of the other guys.

Pete and Ely noticed and started to wonder what was so funny. They stopped laughing and Cap laughed harder. Now they were worried. Had they finally sent him over the edge? Was he now destined for the "Nervous Hospital"...all over a lantern?

"Cap, what in the world could be so funny?" asked Ely...and then it hit him before Cap could say it...

"Ely....that was YOUR lantern!"


Hope everyone is having a good Summer,
Walker